Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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