it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize