White coat. Heels.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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