Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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