There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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