thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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