Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize