Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize