whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize