u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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