Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
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Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
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I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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