ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
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Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
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Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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