My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize