I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize