are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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