she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
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low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
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The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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