Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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