sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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