absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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