The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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