I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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