Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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