Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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