shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
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They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
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Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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