That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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