There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize