i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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