Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
