I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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