i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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