bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize