you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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