i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
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what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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