We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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