I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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