she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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