Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize