Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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