She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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