dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
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As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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