I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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