we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize