i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
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I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
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OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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