Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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