I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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