Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
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Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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