even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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