I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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