Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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