She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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