I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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